Monday, February 8, 2010

When lying becomes a lifestyle

What a life to live when all we have to tell are lies.  Worse yet, when lies become one's reality.  Or is it worse when one knew one was getting lied to, but let naivety take its usual place by pushing logic of that comfortable chair?   Or is it even worse when one knew one was lied to and then be hurt by this behavior?  What is the point in lying?  No, not the "my dog ate my homework"-kind of lie.  More the stabbing in your back kind of lie.  When a meaningful relationship (or what one thought would be a meaningful relationship, a friendship) is stretched across the blade of that sword that slowly digs deeper and deeper into ones rib cage with each lie.  It riddles me, how a person who decides to lie and deliberately hurt a "friend" only to keep peace at home.  Wouldn't the peace have never been in question if honesty would have been implemented from the start?   And then, to keep that peace, the lie has to be carried out to further places.  It needs to stretch as far as it can stretch to avoid the truth to ever show its face.  Why?  What is the point?  Living a lie is the way to go?  No matter how much another person gets hurt by that?  Come on, a person cannot be so heartless.  There must be somewhere a little bit of a conscience, no?  Well, may I introduce you all to my best friend "Naivety" ?

Actually, Naivety has been a pretty loyal companion of mine throughout the years.  A bit weird as my other best buddy is "Logic"...  Naivety and Logic have their own little hierarchy they strictly live by and I shall not dare to interfere.  However, Logic really needs to grow some balls and stand up to Naivety, perhaps even toss it out, I wouldn't mind at all.   But regardless, it hurts a lot when someone, who you thought would be more than just a regular ole friend turns around and out of the blue pushes the sword in and insists on twisting the blade around for some special effects.  What's the gain?  What's the satisfaction of hurting one person only to not be in trouble with another?

It shouldn't have come as a surprise.  The warnings were spoken from those who cared, the signs were there for easy detection.  The eyes didn't want to see,  the ears didn't want to hear and the heart didn't want to believe.  Although, Logic very well knew right from the start that this will happen.. the question wasn't really the "if", but rather the "when", Naivety kicked Logic in the stomach and took full control of the situation.  The only thing Logic could do was sit and watch while Naivety ran the show.  Is there an expiration date  on Naivety???  If so, that date better come up quick.   Logic knew that it was unwise to "trust" as we all know, once you trust you are at your most vulnerable.  To Logic's defense,  there was a bit of a fight between the two of them, but as always, Naivety swung that pretty little scepter... and that was that.   Still, the question remains, what's the satisfaction of hurting one person only to not be in trouble with another?


  1. Hmmmmm, maybe Logic had Naivety take over because it was the logical thing to do.
    Most times we know we are being lied to but it’s easier to accept the liar as they are, a liar then take what they give us as random unconfirmed information until its confirmed by someone else that we trust.
    As long as you know the liar for what they are as a liar you’re safe.
    The ones that go under your radar, well, that means you have to get the radar tuned up a bit.
    You can’t really be mad at the liar as much as being mad at yourself because a liar is a liar and can’t help it but to lie but we should be careful who we trust.
    Personally I believe our whole existence is built on lies from the very beginning of time.
    Hell we can’t figure out if the chicken or the egg came first.
    I think eggs shells are little space suits for tiny aliens that landed on earth a few millennia ago to try and kill off the humans by making them choke on chicken bones.
    Ok that was a lie, except the alien part.

    If the lie was accidental (misinformation) then it’s no one’s fault but if I friend did something to you that they knew would hurt you down the line then they are either not your friend or dumb as a doornail.

  2. I think if we dont have some naivety then we have to have 100% proof - and always having proof means no trust or belief and thats one way to live but i think better to give benefit and chances and not be too strict with oneself. Give yourself a break plsss..

  3. It makes me sad... I am sorry to see that someone misused your trusting and non-judgmental nature against you. This sucks... totally sucks. Huge hugs... and maybe we can discuss this more in depth soon... take care.

  4. Was passiert?

  5. Oh no My Darling Liane Baby, I hope all is OK?

    I can't believe that someone would hurt - you are one of the most nicest, least judgemental of people I know and I am truly honoured to count you amongst my "cyber" friends!

    I don't know all the details of what has gone on but I will say that sometimes we lie in an effort not to hurt others and out lies however bad they may be do have noble causes, I mean look at me - I lie to my husband about what I get up to quite simply to protect him and not ruin our otherwise perfect marriage...

    XOXO as always,


  6. Walker... you know, my logical thinking goes right along with what you are saying... the Liar in my case is using me to get out of trouble, even though i have nothing to do with it. The Liar does so with no regards as to how much this this betrayal hurts. I am basically just a scape-goat for the Liar's behavior, for the Liar's justification. So, in other words, the Liar is deliberately hurting me :-(

    Matt.. you're right, giving benefit and a chance is better than perhaps missing out on something good... But in my case, i knew that the "Liar" will turn out like this, but the Liar insisted that the Liar is different... that the Liar will no longer be like that, especially not with me... if the Liar wouldn't have insisted so strongly, I would not be in this boat right now... I know I am at fault for letting my guard down.. but really, i am upset how arrogant the liar is at this point as if our friendship of all those years has meant nothing :-(

    Tom... what can I say? I had it coming, yes?

    Wifey ... well, in my case, the Liar is practicing self-protection.. not protecting any one else. :-(

  7. *crys* damn I had a good comment but its gone!!! oh well could not remeber it now if I tried... *smiles*

    I liked your picture too....

    thats trust and Betrayal

  8. Thomas.. now you're making me cry... i would have loved to read what you say to my idiocy... ~sigh..(and i shall work on my spelling ;-) )

  9. Have you being living part of my life? I wonder this too. Why have I been lied to so many times and for such stupid reasons?

    I choose honesty. I choose honesty even if I know the truth is painful. Two women that I see know that I sleep with others and they would rather that I didn't, but I won't lie to them and tell I am not sleeping with others. Granted, I sometimes don't tell them everything, but I think they prefer to not know all the details.

  10. never mind the spelling, I'll take you as you are... *winks*


What say you?