Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
(A post I wrote a while back... but David Bowie was playing on my car stereo and i remembered... so here you go)
As I lay here, listening to some old tunes by David Bowie, I cannot help but fall into my own past due to his voice. Whenever I hear his voice, regardless where I am or what I am doing at the time, I am instantly transferred oh so many years back and relive in minutes, what took me months to live through at that time. And as I try to talk myself back out of my thoughts, I lose focus and stay right where I am… 1980’s it is.
In Germany, a movie was made, based on a true story. This movie is of harsh teenage realities when living in the midst of a city, that seems so disorganized and children roam without any supervision. Children without a purpose or reason longing for something in their meaningless lives. This movie was about a 14 year old girl who moved into a new area where she had to make new friends, after her mother faced a divorce. When children moved into those high rise complexes, those, that remind of the American Projects, but do not carry the same meaning, nothing good could come out of it, as they will have to find strength to not fall into temptation. It can, however, be a wonderful temptation. A ride so full of experiences and at the end of the ride, hopefully, you leave your wagon and never step back in, satisfied and scared off. My ride did not satisfy my curiosity, but surely scared me off... at least for that ride. This 14 year old girl named Christiane F. , a big David Bowie Fan, met the wrong people, went to the wrong places and ended up a heroin addict. A fascinating story, if you are able to take that ride without leaving the roller coaster cart for a closer look. You step out and you are left on your own; nobody to catch you or guide you back.
This movie took place in Berlin and I have been very familiar with all the places shown. She looked beautiful. Long hair, pretty eyes, she was smart, spoke with the Berlin slang (which I don’t really enjoy hearing as it is grammatically very wrong and is rather a contradiction to her intellect). A girl, full of dreams and hopes for her future. She meets a girl whom she instantly connects with and is easily enticed into going to a dance club, where she ends up meeting a few more people, all engaged in the drug scene. One of the guys becomes her boyfriend who is heavily addicted to heroin and in order to afford his elixir, he prostitutes himself out to men of homosexual nature. It did not take long for Christiane to create a huge curiosity for that white stuff and this new type of life style. Her friends were not strong enough to keep her away from the drugs, as Christiane took matters into her own hands and finds herself in a public bathroom, trying to use a syringe filled with the liquid demon. After that, we in the roller coaster wagon, become witness of a life falling apart that hasn’t even begun.
David Bowie lived around the corner from where I lived and at the time of filming, he had his concert in Berlin. The entire movie was underlined by his music, and his song “hero” was the main song as a scene shows him looking into Christiane’s eyes from the stage, while she is displaying her likings for him, forgetting for a moment, that her friends are a few rows behind her, swallowing the medicine that keeps them in their comfortable state. And we start witnessing how she is physically changing, mentally changing and on the way losing friends, not surviving the ordeal they have put their bodies through. We witness an attempt of becoming clean, which was rather gruesome to watch, but successful for only a few days. The movie does not end with a conclusion or a big bang. All we knew was, that Christiane was sent away to become clean and have a fresh start. When the movie ended, I was as curious as ever. And so I packed a small bag with a few things and set out to the subway to take a tour of the places and assess for myself how bad the situation was. Curiosity had such a strong hold over me, that I started to forget why I was there. Why was I there? I truly had no other reason than to just verify. And so my little adventure started. I had to see for myself… I couldn’t just take the word of a movie-maker.
Here I was, in the midst of it all, yet far enough removed to not be involved. The danger, however, was eminent. Temptation was my new companion and I didn’t miss to turn any rock on my path of knowledge, experience, and perhaps even stupidity. I have put myself into situations that are of serious consequences, yet, never got hit by any of it. I always came out of every venture with a bruise, but quite alright. I walked through dark alleys no tourist would ever lay an eye on. I smelled smells, I couldn’t identify and that’s probably for the best. I starred prostitution in the eye, yet, never engaged. I watched the needle go into the arm, but never was it my arm. I watched people “puke” all over the place, but never did I lose my stomach’s content. I have seen it and heard it, but never experienced the “high”. I have become a total slave to curiosity. I allowed others to show me and while I observed, I was satisfied with the pay off. I felt down, I felt torn, I felt in pain, I felt robbed of air much like they did, yet, I felt it all without the magic powder. Months later, after counting my emotional scars, it was time for me to follow another temptation and let go of that one. And whenever I hear David Bowie sing, my own movie is instantly on replay.
Today, I use this movie as a tool to show my girls, how easy it is to fall for temptation’s poisoned apple and how hard it can be to not take a bite. I wonder often how much of a contradiction I am, as Temptation to this day, has a way of persuasion with me. It pokes me in the side and I have to follow… I have to know… I need to experience…
How about you???
Posted by Liane at 7:20 PM
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
WHOO HOO !!! I DID IT !! I AM NOW AN AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE
(me, the old lady !!!)
(me, who has not ever been to High School in America !!)
(me, who drove people crazy over this !!!)
(ME, who can now finally continue with college)
WHOO HOO !!
Posted by Liane at 2:34 PM
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Make them go away !!! Numbers, nothing but numbers. Today was the day for my math portion of my GED testing and this completed the entire test. Yesterday, I have tried to get all of what you people in America have to do in 4 years of High School math into my head. To my aid came Jenny and she deserves an award to have hung in there with me last night. We went to bed exhausted and I doubt that I was any smarter then before, but I couldn't take it anymore. I have found enough distances for the night, found more than a fair share of percentages of silly things and there was enough time spent on factoring stuff. Without having looked into Geometry at all, we called it a night. Ninety minutes testing and so much bubbling... gosh, to my time of school, one had to write the answer, not bubble it in.. almost like art-class "'stay inside the line!!! As I was sitting there, trying to figure out the ole slope and how many gallons Monica has to put into her car to take her 190 mile trip, i was once again asking myself, why the heck am I doing this? After all, I have completed High School and college and even did the ole American college classes already... I looked up, saw the GA flag and remembered with a "sigh". I finished... used up all of my time too. 41 years old and I am nervous like a High School kid on testing day. I have a bad feeling about this one... I know, I know.. that's what I said about the other tests and I've made it. This time just feels different. I have a feeling that Monica isn't getting to her destination because I forgot some gallons.. I wonder if Paul isn't getting to read his psychology book, cause i messed up on the probability and I sooooo doubt, that y will ever meet up with x. Ahhhhhhh....
Posted by Liane at 1:24 PM
Friday, January 8, 2010
Gosh, it's cold here. The snow arrived mid-day yesterday. It snowed on and off. Over 30 accidents were reported yesterday. This morning, they were talking about a 15 car-pile-up as well as a 27 car-pile-up by the airport. We only had a bit over half an inch of snow!!!!!
No school open today... quite crazy. When I grew up in Berlin, school was going on, regardless of the weather condition. Quite the days to make up for the girls as we had several days off last year due to the crazy rain we've received. So the girls are at home today. They are warning of the ice still present on secondary streets (that would include the way out of my subdivision...great!!) What to do today??? All plans are out the window... Lewis is finally done with his Kindle. For days now he was glued to that thing as he was reading "The Dome" by Steven King. No matter where we went, that thing was his loyal companion. Today is a snow day and he finished "kindling" last night. Oh nooooo, what to do?? Since we can't do what we should be doing today, he is suggesting to go out to the movies. We shall toss ourselves out into the crazy world of nervous (not to say "dumb") drivers. I hate to say it, but the drivers I am most afraid of are women, old men with hats and Asians. Now get those people into half an inch of snow and all hell shall break loose. Jenny suggested the movie with Heath Ledger and Johnny Depp (I guess there is no need to explain why that movie was chosen) "The Imaginarum of Dr. Parnassis".
How about you?
Posted by Liane at 10:42 AM
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Finally, I've been patient for 1.5 years and today was the day. The darn braces came off... silly tooth is completely in it's place and the only memory I have of my traitor tooth, the ole baby-tooth, is a little scar on the roof of my mouth. And finally, I can eat all I want again without worrying if any lunch is still hanging around by 4 p.m. And OH MY GOSH, flossing.... i can floss like a normal person once again... that deserves an extra HIP HIP HURRAY... It's good to be normal again (well, semi-normal, I guess) !!!
(and we shall talk about the snow later !!)
Posted by Liane at 12:51 PM
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Oh my gosh it's cold... Hotlanta has 18F; windshield makes it feel like 5F... Snow in the forecast for this afternoon. Warning of black ice; parts of a Highway was closed last night due to ice. We are 20 degrees below our normal average temperature for this time of year... 20F !!! Sorry Mr. Gore, but I am switching sides now.. gosh, it's nipply... bbbrrrrrr. Anyone want go to a tropical island with me????
Posted by Liane at 10:22 AM
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Happy New Year, my fine friends. For me, this year started off alright, in spite of all the work we are currently doing to our house (we started to replace the kitchen floor the end of December and will hopefully finish by tonight). The crazy rain that fell on Hotlanta in the last few months of 2009 has created quite the damage to thousands of homes. We thought, we've dodged the bullet, but unfortunately, the bullet had hit our property as well. It will be alright... the house will be all prettied up just in time to put it on the market, eh?!
It's still freakin' cold here. We had some sleet, and further north of us (not by much), snow fell. I am ready for warmer weather, how about you? March is just around the corner (that's what I keep telling myself). March will be a great month as my dear friend Kay (you recall Kay from the Berlin-Birthday-Party-Video, don't you?) and his family will be here for three weeks. I can't wait. About ten days after his departure, my sister will arrive and stay for a couple of weeks. I can't wait.
I am starting to ramble on while sitting here having my morning-coffee with you fine people.
So how did you ring in the new year???
Posted by Liane at 9:17 AM