Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A Slave To Temptation

(A post I wrote a while back... but David Bowie was playing on my car stereo and i remembered... so here you go)

As I lay here, listening to some old tunes by David Bowie, I cannot help but fall into my own past due to his voice. Whenever I hear his voice, regardless where I am or what I am doing at the time, I am instantly transferred oh so many years back and relive in minutes, what took me months to live through at that time. And as I try to talk myself back out of my thoughts, I lose focus and stay right where I am… 1980’s it is.

In Germany, a movie was made, based on a true story. This movie is of harsh teenage realities when living in the midst of a city, that seems so disorganized and children roam without any supervision. Children without a purpose or reason longing for something in their meaningless lives. This movie was about a 14 year old girl who moved into a new area where she had to make new friends, after her mother faced a divorce. When children moved into those high rise complexes, those, that remind of the American Projects, but do not carry the same meaning, nothing good could come out of it, as they will have to find strength to not fall into temptation. It can, however, be a wonderful temptation. A ride so full of experiences and at the end of the ride, hopefully, you leave your wagon and never step back in, satisfied and scared off. My ride did not satisfy my curiosity, but surely scared me off... at least for that ride. This 14 year old girl named Christiane F. , a big David Bowie Fan, met the wrong people, went to the wrong places and ended up a heroin addict. A fascinating story, if you are able to take that ride without leaving the roller coaster cart for a closer look. You step out and you are left on your own; nobody to catch you or guide you back.

This movie took place in Berlin and I have been very familiar with all the places shown. She looked beautiful. Long hair, pretty eyes, she was smart, spoke with the Berlin slang (which I don’t really enjoy hearing as it is grammatically very wrong and is rather a contradiction to her intellect). A girl, full of dreams and hopes for her future. She meets a girl whom she instantly connects with and is easily enticed into going to a dance club, where she ends up meeting a few more people, all engaged in the drug scene. One of the guys becomes her boyfriend who is heavily addicted to heroin and in order to afford his elixir, he prostitutes himself out to  men of homosexual nature. It did not take long for Christiane to create a huge curiosity for that white stuff and this new type of life style. Her friends were not strong enough to keep her away from the drugs, as Christiane took matters into her own hands and finds herself in a public bathroom, trying to use a syringe filled with the liquid demon. After that, we in the roller coaster wagon, become witness of a life falling apart that hasn’t even begun.

David Bowie lived around the corner from where I lived and at the time of filming, he had his concert in Berlin. The entire movie was underlined by his music, and his song “hero” was the main song as a scene shows him looking into Christiane’s eyes from the stage, while she is displaying her likings for him, forgetting for a moment, that her friends are a few rows behind her, swallowing the medicine that keeps them in their comfortable state. And we start witnessing how she is physically changing, mentally changing and on the way losing friends, not surviving the ordeal they have put their bodies through. We witness an attempt of becoming clean, which was rather gruesome to watch, but successful for only a few days. The movie does not end with a conclusion or a big bang. All we knew was, that Christiane was sent away to become clean and have a fresh start. When the movie ended, I was as curious as ever. And so I packed a small bag with a few things and set out to the subway to take a tour of the places and assess for myself how bad the situation was. Curiosity had such a strong hold over me, that I started to forget why I was there. Why was I there? I truly had no other reason than to just verify. And so my little adventure started. I had to see for myself… I couldn’t just take the word of a movie-maker.

Here I was, in the midst of it all, yet far enough removed to not be involved. The danger, however, was eminent. Temptation was my new companion and I didn’t miss to turn any rock on my path of knowledge, experience, and perhaps even stupidity. I have put myself into situations that are of serious consequences, yet, never got hit by any of it. I always came out of every venture with a bruise, but quite alright. I walked through dark alleys no tourist would ever lay an eye on. I smelled smells, I couldn’t identify and that’s probably for the best. I starred prostitution in the eye, yet, never engaged. I watched the needle go into the arm, but never was it my arm. I watched people “puke” all over the place, but never did I lose my stomach’s content. I have seen it and heard it, but never experienced the “high”. I have become a total slave to curiosity. I allowed others to show me and while I observed, I was satisfied with the pay off. I felt down, I felt torn, I felt in pain, I felt robbed of air much like they did, yet, I felt it all without the magic powder. Months later, after counting my emotional scars, it was time for me to follow another temptation and let go of that one. And whenever I hear David Bowie sing, my own movie is instantly on replay.

Today, I use this movie as a tool to show my girls, how easy it is to fall for temptation’s poisoned apple and how hard it can be to not take a bite. I wonder often how much of a contradiction I am, as Temptation to this day, has a way of persuasion with me. It pokes me in the side and I have to follow… I have to know… I need to experience…

How about you???


  1. Great post - I'm looking forward to reading more :-)

    LHC xx

  2. There are a number of movies i know about but don't watch.
    This is one of them another is "Rush".
    That was my world from a young age that went on for 30 more years until i was tired of it.
    The young are easy to corrupt because of their innocence and the trust the bestow on the wrong people.

    If you ever get a chance in my sidebar in, Posts of note look for "Evolution" and you might understand why I don't watch these movies personally but I do recommend them as a learning tool to make kids understand

    Great post

  3. I love how much you absorb and how virtually everything gets turned over in that lovely head of yours... everything is a teachable moment, and it is why you live life so fully, as every experience, movie, song, book, picture, conversation has so much meaning to you, because you place it into the context of your life... I remember this posting, and I still need to see this movie... even though David Bowie does not really do it for me - you do, so I will check this one out. Huge hugs, always...

  4. Hot Cockels .. great ;-) Looking forward to see you more often ;-)

    Walker... I have never seen "Rush".. The movie I was writing about, i think, only had such a strong impact on me, because it was in the city I lived in.. places I knew of... and due to my darn curiosity... I am telling you, curiosity didn't only kill the cat, but might be the death of me too, ha! And I can't stop myself... how pathetic is that, eh? To this day, i follow my questions and insist of finding an answer before I turn away... I do stupid things and expect them to turn out positive... quite the adult I am, eh?

    Tom ... I have not seen this movie in any store or for rental.. I wonder, if it is available over here.. I know that it has been translated into english for our british folks, but not sure if it ever made it to America...

  5. Our library is pretty good at carrying lots and lots of titles... who knows, it is worth a look, right?

  6. wow.. you fail to amaze me with your post..

    slave to curiosity....

    I think we all are from time to time...

    me most of the time...

  7. Tom.. you have to let me know if your library actually had this movie ;-)

    Reaper .. I failed to amaze you?

  8. opps... never fail... never fail....

    kiss kiss

  9. Reaper... LOL.. that's much better ;-) wanna go with me to the stones again? ;-)

  10. Happy Friday... love you too, just sayin' back... have a peachified, exuberent (do you need to be told to be exuberent, I don't think so...) and wonderful weekend... Don't work too hard on that house all the time, have some fun!

  11. I was tempted a few times in my youth, but 15 years in law enforcement seeing the damage done daily I'd never even think of trying anything.

    Beer is my drug of choice.

  12. Tom... gosh, all weekend, I was working on the bathroom with Lewis.. finally, paint was applied and today, we can put down the new tile flooring.. I WANT TO GO PLAY!!! Can't wait for it all to be finally done.. ~sigh

    Ranger Tom... my curiosity will be the death of me... I don't like alcohol, and even though I am a German, I very much dislike the taste of beer.. shocking, I

  13. A German who doesn't like beer? lol


What say you?