During her eight-hour travel, she could not help but keep thinking of his words. A question he asked to which she very
well knew the answer but decided to rather give a more general than the true answer. But now she wonders, where does her
faith lie? Can she even truly answer that question anymore? He has triggered a series of thoughts and a brief return to
her own past. She started to question if her true answer to his question was just formed by anger at the time. For
seventeen years she has not questioned, nor challenged her “answer” until the day he asked the question. This question
shouldn’t even phase her. It should not touch her in a way it did. It never did before. Her answer was the perfect answer… at
least that is what she thought until he came along.
How is it, that one simple question can shake her entire belief? Although the general answer she gave him has not changed
at all, the true answer seems to be on shaky grounds now, with repeated aftershocks. She is trying to tell herself that the
answer is still the answer and to not pay attention to the falling pillars on which her answer stood. Somehow, he keeps
finding his way into her head, creating yet another tremble.
What is the purpose of his question anyway, she wonders. What does it matter if one person does not want to go there, even
though, her reason for not wanting to go the "path of faith", whatever that may be, is created for the wrong reason? She had
tried to make sense of it, bring logic into the game, but the pieces are falling and she tries to stand them back up, but
they won’t hold. One question, one simple question met by what she thought was a simple answer, while holding back the
truth. And why is she not willing to openly argue her true reason for avoiding the first step? Why can’t she just sit and
listen to his reason? Why won’t she allow his words to just reach her? Instead she puts on the gloves, ready to resist…
but why?
All was well in her world before he stepped into it with that question. All was perfect the way it was. She was successful
in staying objective, while keeping her own reason as a watch-dog at the front gate. There was just no way that she will
ever believe differently. Nobody, no matter who would try, can persuade her otherwise. She would not give anyone the chance
to come up with any plausible explanation to excuse what happened. There just couldn’t be a right explanation and she would
never be able to feel forgiveness. There is no such path of faith. There is only the betrayal.
If that’s truly so, then why is his question still in her head? Why does it linger? Why won't he leave? Why can't she push him
away? Why won’t this question leave her alone and allow her to get back to where she knew her belief is. After all, her belief was
strong and could not be questioned… why did he have to ask that question? She is fighting to hold on to her true answer…
but …
